This day was a day of rest. At least it felt that way since not much was happening. Let’s see, I made a couple cups of coffee, cleaned some dishes, and spoke to a few friends. I spent a lot of time watching a show with Chris and after a while I got bored of it and went upstairs. Past actions, thoughts, and feelings began to flood my mind as I folded laundry. Things I didn’t think were issues anymore began knocking on my mind’s door and were getting louder and louder by the second. I’m sure having the abundance of time hasn’t helped since we can think ourselves into a hole.
As the many thoughts floated around aimlessly, I began to share them with God as a safe guard against anxiety. Moments later Chris entered the room. Did God inspire him to walk through the door and talk with me? Is this what an “open door” felt like? There are many times that I’ve prayed for open doors, or opportunities, for myself and others, but this time I had just been talking to God about the things that were on my mind.
You see, I didn’t realize this was going to be the time to have a meaningful conversation with Chris about the thoughts that were running through my mind. At first I felt bad but he could tell something was off so I became determined to let it all out. We got to talking about marriage and alcohol and expectations and work. It felt like God knew this conversation would be the perfect open door to get on the same page, to voice our thoughts and opinions, our concerns, and our desires; however, there were moments I felt I understood exactly the point Chris was trying to make and just wanted him to speed things up but the Lord really softened my heart… and my approach to the conversation. I began to pray silently that God would help me to understand and that I would be humbled to His truth. You’d be surprised what the Lord puts on your heart.
Have you heard about love languages? I haven’t read the book yet but I’ve gathered a bit from what others have shared. I began to understand that I was craving quality time with Chris. How did I not recognize this before? We had been doing separate things ever since we moved to Montana a month ago, and it had been some time since we just sat down to talk and enjoy each others presence. Watching a t.v. show just wasn’t filling that hole anymore.
We were also reminded of something very important: God is our sufficiency.
Oh boy, that one keeps coming back! Our spouse isn’t our sufficiency, our friends aren’t our sufficiency, God is our sufficiency. When we decide to share with God what’s on our mind, we tap into this balance of quality time with Father. Beautiful things happen when our mind turns to God, which then translates in our relationship with others. There’s so much that Chris and I talked about during our time together and by the end of it my heart was so comforted by God’s love. Chris reminded me of my standing with God, listened to the things that were bubbling up in my mind, and expressed his feelings. He spent time with me and I spent time with him, all the while God was spending time with us. It was like getting a big hug from a friend you haven’t seen for a while. So sweet.
The other day my friend talked about the joy she experiences when her newborn son looks up at her and smiles. I wonder if that’s what it’s like for Father when we look to Him, when we talk with Him, ask Him questions, and rest in His presence. She reminded me that God meets our needs. If we’re needing quality time, God will meet that need. If we’re needing a big hug, God will meet that need. Whatever we have need of, God will meet each and every one of those needs.
And my God will liberally supply (fill until full) your every need according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus. To our God and Father be the glory forever and ever. Amen.
Philippians 4:19-20 AMP
My close friends, John and Abbey Gold, sent me a copy of The Five Love Languages. They also began GR8FRT, a company that produces inspiring content for those struggling in and out of faith. The fourth episode of their web series (Divine Intervention) helped me to see that God’s love is greater than our flaws. It’s greater than the flaws of our brothers and sisters in Christ. Here’s the link:
God sees you, He hears you, He cares for you, and nothing with keep Him from loving you. Spend some time talking with Him and sharing your thoughts with Him. You’d be surprised by the abundant blessings He is prepared to pour into your life. We did nothing to warrant such a wonderful Dad. It’s by His love that we were destined to be His adopted children through Jesus Christ. God chose us in Christ to be holy and blameless.
We are forgiven. So forgive others, forgive yourself, and embrace the glorious grace that God has freely given you.